Death of Friend…..A Truly Good Person

My son woke me up the other day, as a matter of fact it was Christmas Eve day to tell me that a friend of our had died. I had met her through my son and his work with a volunteer ambulance corp here in Staten Island and actually had met her husband first, since he came in everyday to the deli I worked in for lunch with his other EMT buddies.

They are a nice family and always make you feel as if you are a part of their family. Donna, we shared that name, had a calming voice and was easy to talk to and also was into the paranormal and was one that put my mind to ease when I talked to her about my abilities to speak to dead people…..especially in my dreams…..she put my mind at ease that I was not crazy at all, but had a gift for which I should practice and not be afraid of. For those who ever watched Ghost Whisperer, I am Melinda except they don’t always pop up in front of me yet they will often come to me in dreams, or daydreams as well……I can see visions and of things about to happen and only about some people. I have a tap on this one office at work and have had dreams about all who have worked in there and every one has come true…….and it freaks them out each time because I tell them and they doubt it then want to know how I knew when they said nothing? From pregnancies, to family illnesses, deaths, accidents, breakups, firings, and promotions….but Donna never made me feel odd, stupid or freaky but encouraged me to learn to tap into it and go with it since it is not a gift all others have. I also had a friend, who she said was my actual soul mate…..that we had been together in a different life…..just by looking at a pic of us….I would stop by and talk to her at her job a the Heart Society and knew she worked countless hrs. She would often sleep there before an event to make sure it was perfect….! She was also trying to help me learn all I could about being as good of an Executive Director as she was, successful, loved and respected and most of all knowledgeable.

She was a great mom and grandmother, very few times did I see her without her one granddaughter, Dominique, who just adored her and Donna her. I would see her in the food store together and as Dominique grew she knew me more, so she became more trusting and friendly. But she was always with G-ma the bond with her kids and grandkids was great because she once told me family is what you have, then your friends and then all else…..

Donna made time for all and I never knew she was that sick. She never really talked about it. She told me she had had a stroke a few months ago but not the cancer. She smoked and said you have to enjoy life we all have to go one day but i do not think she meant so early. She was a trooper working right until the end.
Donna was an inspiration to both the non profit community and the EMT Fire Dept. She was an inspiration as a friend, parent, grandmother, and wife. She truly cared about all and I will miss her and I hope she will come to me in my dreams…..to let me know she is ok.

Holidays and What It Has Become

Happy Holidays to everyone. It has been awhile since I have posted anything. I do read blogs on here and find some quite interesting. Today I had a strong feeling to write about the holidays and what they have become. Too commercialized that is what. The Christmas things have been in stores since Halloween and the Christmas music has been on the radio since before Thanksgiving hardly giving a person a chance to breathe and enjoy the holiday at hand. I have been recieving a lot of emails about keeping Christ in Christmas and yes that is true. I believe that God is whomever you believe he is and Jesus is the same. They are within your heart and soul and who says what color, nationality or even sex he actually was. But either way he is in your heart. He did good for all and forgives all for their wrongdoings in life, things we Christians call sins. Should there be wars? No! Should we argue with one another? No! Should there be hatred against another because of race, or sexual identity? No! He would not have believed in this because he made each and every one of us as we are. He gave us our attributes and lives as he saw fit. Did he actually give us our problems? I am not too sure about that one as many people say he gives us only what we can handle……well I have watched many people endure a lot of pain, crisis and things that were not necessary caused by them but just happened and that they cannot handle. But we must all remember that there are people out there that do not have what we may have. Even if we have less then our neighbor there is someone who has less then us. There is someone who suffers more then us. There is someone who is sicker then we are. Perhaps we are unemployed but there is someone who is unemployed and cannot get another job because they are underqualified for anything due to lack of skills, and they have to worry about where they will lay their head at night. So is Christmas all about gifts and getting the latest toy and fulfilling every wish that our children have and our families have? No, surely it is nice to exchange gifts but that is not the main reason of the holidays…..it is to celebrate the birth of a baby who wanted the best for all. Who sacrificed himself for everyone….not just one nationality, not just one sex, not just one sexual identity, not just children or adults but everyone. I often wonder, if he were alive today what he would actually think about all these wars, all this greed of control over others, all this hatred of other human beings because of their race, sexual identity, ethnicity or what they have or do not have in life. My children are not asking for gifts this year, but giving instead. I work with a non-profit, that I am working hard to get off the ground, thats goal is to help people in need of affordable housing and services so that they can remain or become self sufficient individuals. Since we are small we rely on donations to help us do what we do and we are right now helping a family with 3 children, 2 of them sick get gifts for Christmas. We are also helping another family with getting oil for their home so they will not be cold since they cannot get assistance again until January. Some of this money comes out of my disability check since there is not enough money and donations have been small this year. The organization is C’est Mavie Homes, Inc and perhaps you can find it in your heart to help the less fortunate with a donation that is tax deductable. I am sure that you will feel good about yourself as I do when I help, my kids do when they help and the volunteers that help each year do as well. But we have to take the commercial out of holidays, not completely but think of the real meaning…..being together with friends, family and maybe even strangers and helping another who is less fortunate. Perhaps when we are having our get togethers, there is an elderly neighbor sitting alone, who would enjoy a home cooked meal. Whatever it is, think of others, think of the fact that what we have or do not have there is someone out there who has less then we do. Sure, we do not have to give a lot, small donations help and go far. But either way please visit our web site if you will, think of others, enjoy your family, friends and the holidays and may you all have a safe, Blessed Holiday Season.

Happy Sunday

Wishing All a Happy Sunday and a safe, healthy and wonderful week! Set your goals and remember you can do anything you can put your mind to. Have a great week!

How Time Really Does Fly By

I recieved an email yesterday in my inbox from a friend who I actually became friends with in a strange way but it is a lasting friendship, that I have just realized has thus far spanned 18 years. I met Blanche while waiting in the food stamp office in New Jersey. She was sitting there with her husband and a carriage with two newborn twins, a boy and a girl. They were so tiny and adorable and the little girl actually looked like an EWOK so I used to call her my little EWOK. I was there with my daughter, who was then 3 and my son, who was then 2 was with his grandmother that day.

As usual, I began talking to her, because I will strike up conversations with just about anyone and anywhere I may be. I am friendly and found that you can learn a lot from people and about people this way. Anyway, we began talking and she told me that she had just had the twins 4 days prior and that she had two other children at home, a girl, who was 8 and a boy who was 3. She was telling me the adventure in how they were born and how she was on her way to actually get her tubes tied and found out she was pregnant, because they do a routine pregnancy test before the surgery. So, the surgery was called off and another pregnancy was on its way. The day that they were born was the same as any other, they were not due for another month so she kissed her hubby good-bye sending him off to work like she did each day. Well, little did she know that the babies had other ideas…..shortly after he left, labor came and due to the fact of previous pregnancies, it went quick. This was before everyone having cell phones so her husband was not at work yet so she called the ambulance and they came and thinking they had enough time to make the short ride to the hospital, they made the trek. Well, baby number one came out in the ambulance on the highway and soon after, came baby number two in the parking lot of the hospital. The ambulance was equipped to handle the birth of babies but only one…..so it was good that they were there at the hospital. I appreciated the fact that my kids at least waited until I was at the hospital, my daughter at a decent hr of the morning 10:44 and my son, an ungodly hour of 2:32 AM but still I was there. The way she told the story kept me glued to my seat and one eye on her and one eye on the babies.

As anyone who ever had to sit in a government office of this kind knows, you can wait for hours, so this new frienship helped pass the time. Eventually she went with her caseworker and I with mine but not before she let me hold them. As she left, I told her good-bye, how I was glad to have met her and that since she lived in the town where I grew up in maybe one day I would run into her again. Well I did and sooner then I imagined. The day was a rainy one. When I was leaving it was pouring……I mean the skies opened up and you could hardly see your hand in front of your face. It was thundering, lightening and pouring. As my daughter and I were running to the car she said, “mommy there is that lady you were talking to”. They were having car trouble and were stuck. I felt so bad and asked if I could help and they said they were waiting for a tow truck and that it was going to be an hr or two before it would get there. I offered to take her and the babies home. So we packed her car seats, her children, and us into the car and off we went leaving her husband with her car. When we got to her house, the rain had stopped, thank goodness so I helped her upstairs with her things. She told me to wait a second and came from her second floor with a bunch of tupperward and said she did not have money but would like it if I would take the tupperware as a thank you. I said it was not necessary because I do not mind helping others and it was just something any normal good hearted person would have done.

Since that day, we have been friends. When I lived in NJ I saw her almost everyday when the kids were young, because , my daughter, Sam and her son Vinny were the same age and became best buddies often walking down the street holding hands and investigating the flowers, bugs and trees together. Daniel would play with them too since he was close in age and Blanche and I got along so well. As it turned out her brother is married to a friend of mine from H.S. too. Blanche was there for me through a lot of hard times. She always listened when I needed to talk and I was always there for her as well. She also made the best meatloaf….well now she has a close competition with another good friend of mine, Brigitte. We even realized once that we would be in Florida at the same time so we surprised the kids and met at Universal Studios and hung out together there.

I was fixing my computer last night and while I wrote to her to make sure she sent me an email with a link attached for making money, I told her to wish her child a happy birthday although, I mixed up the kids. But 18 years later all the kids are still friends, Blanche and I are still friends and my little EWOK, no longer looks like an EWOK but has turned into a beautiful young woman. Her eldest daughter has just had a baby also, making her a grandmother too for the first time. It does not seem like 18 years. There are times, like when you are tired at work when 5 minutes seems like an eternity, but this does not seem like 18 years has already passed.

BEING A PARENT IS A PRIVIEGE NOT A RIGHT

I came across an article on the internet today with a video of a planned fight between two girls in Florida. In the background you hear the mother of one girl egging her daughter on to not let up and to keep on hitting the other girl. This woman actually calls herself a PARENT? In reality it was stated that both parents were there and the parent of the other girl also did nothing to stop the fight either, so she is just as guilty as the one doing the egging in my opinion. She was not charged though whereas the other mother was charged with child abuse. Both parents should have been charged with child abuse, child endangerment and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. There are many bogus calls each day made to child protective agencies across the nation from people being vindictive towards others, but in this case, where was child protective services to protect these two teens from their own parents? This is such a disgrace and really made me sick to watch. I know my children are my life and would never do anything to harm them and would not stand for them to harm others, never mind egg them on to hurt someone while I was there watching no matter what the reason because no reason is good enough.

Lady Gaga Defends No Ask No Tell and That Is A Good Thing

Today in the different papers I was reading how Lady Gaga defended the No As No Tell Act. I give her a lot of credit for standing up for all the people in the military who are gay and fighting for their rights. I look at it like this. Everyone is surely entitled to their opinions to how they feel about gender related issues and there are plenty of issues out there right now from the No Ask, No Tell to gay marriage being legalized. First, you cannot make a person gay or ungay and God made everyone who they are and the way they are. The issue here is whether or not they should be able to serve in the military and fight for our country. In this day and age, no one has been drafted so anyone that is in the military has done so on a volunteer basis. They believe in their hearts that it is important to stand up for their country and fight to keep all Americans safe, free from harm and able to remain free. They don’t do it because they are gay so what does it matter what their gender preference is? If they can handle the boot camp, the training and are able to go overseas to fight for our country then what is the deal? Most gay people do not go around forcing their beliefs on others, just ask for respect. Look at the people of the one religion who come knocking on your door wanting you to convert and pushing their religion on you, do we say you can’t serve our country? No. There is a big controversy over smokers and non smokers and smokers second hand smoke can kill a non smoker but are they asked to not enlist because of that fact? No! Gay people are people, alot of the time you would never know who they are. They can be coworkers, doctors, your lawyer defending you or the cop that comes to your door when you call the police. Do you question them are you gay? So why should people who will give themselves to support and defend the Constitution of the USA be told to leave the military because of something they actually had no control over? Thumbs up to Lady Gaga.

Why Don’t People Listen

This is a short one. Why don’t people you care aboiut listen when you talk, but always think their way is the way to go then come to you complaining that it all went wrong? Not that I always know things but through experience I do know a lot and have come to the conclusion that I am not offering any more advice if it is not going to be taken.

My Love For Children and A Growing Epidemic

I have a love of children, one can say I love everyone’s kids as if they were my own. My own children’s friends often call me mom even to this day, even though they are grown. I don’t mind though because kids are my life. If I had it my way each child would ace grammar school, excel in high school and go to college, the college of their choice, whether it be through financial aid, scholarship or student loan. They would all come out with degrees in fields that they would truly enjoy because the kids today are our leaders of tomorrow. The senior in high school can be the President of the United States in 10 years. Sounds promising right? Well, I live in a city, where an epidemic of wanting to work summer jobs, working after school to buy a car and the latest fashions has just about disappeared and been replaced with finding the fastest way to get high off of drugs and alcohol, often using fake IDs to get into bars. It is sickening to read the papers to hear about the growing number of kids, robbing pharmacies for narcotics, buying them off the streets for as much as $60.00 a pill and drinking on top of it and then getting into the car that was handed to them and dying in an accident. I am sure that they thought it would never happen to them, because if adults drink we all know it can make us more courageous amd invincible, but to lose so many children, whose lives never had a chance to begin because of drugs and alcohol is awful. The families are left behind with pain and sorrow never to see their child and sometimes children again. My question is what is the government doing to prevent this from happening? Ok the increase the drinking age, they get fake IDs, they want drugs they go to certain Drs and get them or even from their own parents medicine cabinets. When I was a child I was never given narcs for pain. Now as an adult and with legit problems that do require them, I have trouble getting them and have to show tons of ID but I also have them in a lock box, which is hidden so no one can get at them. I think it is because there is a lack of contructive things to do for teens today after school. They ae given way to many things, without having to earn them in a lot of cases and it saddens me to see teens becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol so young. We need strong leadership in the future since the country is in a mess right now for sure so I got to thinking about opening a non profit center for kids, after school for young kids, homework first, then specialties such as arts and crafts, cooking, sports, life skills, and enlisting teens from high schools to volunteer their time to teach the younger kids how to do these things. The qualifications for them to volunteer, drug and alcohol free and a c+ or higher in all subjects. The center would be open 7 days. Also 2 nights for Adults who needed help for GED or other skills….maybe this would help a few teens and in turn a few more. What do you think about this issue and idea?